Hey

Time flies when your life's going nuts, ok so

- I got engaged ( Yey!)
- I bought a house (Yey again)
- I got a new job and then a promotion (Half a yey)
- I got the internet at home yesterday (Yey!)

I'm feeling good, ready to see what the now year has to offer.

I have a new friend, her name is Lauren and she is so cool. I want her to help me build an image cause to be frank, i'm ok but not hugely exciting. I need a persona and i think she could help me there. She's a budding photographer and what i have seen of her work is pretty damn great.

I digress, i have said this before but i wanna make something of my professional life, i have a talent and i'm desperate to use it. So what it the odds are against me the odds are against all of us but we fight on. I'll only ever be truly happy once i have fought for this, for even if i fail, i'll make failure glorious and die content.

Has it really been almost a year?

Well i'm back.

I'll say more later
XX April

Hi yall

Wow, what a couple of months!

Finally my music is actually taking off, well, some people are hearing it and liking it. Over all i'm doing well. I'm working on 4 projects, three with other musicians/songwriters and one of my own.

I have registered with a couple of sites and on music freedom i was ranked #2 on the hot new artists section. I'm 4th today LOL

Anyhoo, hope all are well
xx April

my space

http://www.myspace.com/apriljanewalker

Merry Christmas

25th December 2005

Good Morning, may your Christmas be filled with love and light.

Love April

Dodgy blog

I'm going to post some blog entrys i typed up but couldn't post cause blogger wouldn't let me. God knows why. Hence the wrong date.

I hope all me readers have been well
Love April

Excited

On the first day of this glorious year i recieved a gift from an angel (apparently angels come from las vegas now!) I'm not going to go into too many details right now but basically someone likes my voice and want to work with me. It's an amazing feeling to think that someone on the other side of the world can hear my music and want to work with me. Myspacce rocks.

I'll say more about this later

XX Love April

Day Two

Hi Folks

Today has been ok but i miss him. That much was inevitable.

I cant post much cause it's late and my bath is run and ready for me but i will say that even though my stay here at my mum and dad's is fine i wanna go home to Jimmy.

If you are reading this Jimmy i love you

Sweet dreams

XX April

Day One

So here's the deal, Jimmy is having an operation in 8 days and if he gets a cold the operation will be posponed. Well the timing of the operation is perfect, he gets 2 weeks of sick and then goes straight into his 2 week Christmas holidays. The unfortunate thing is that I have developed a cold and must move out until I am well. Last night we slept in different rooms so he wouldn't catch my cold( At this point I was just starting to sneeze and get that funny feeling behind my face) So I couldn't kiss or hug him goodbye!!!!

I start work at 1 today and will be going straight to my mums when I finish at 10.

I feel like my heart has stopped beating and awaiting its forceful removal from my chest in the forthcoming days.

I know what you are thinking and yes, I am clingy,
as is James so I don't see a problem. I love him
so intensely, he is my one.
So until I am home I will be posting here daily and
hopefully Jimmy will read and comment.

Love to you all and especially Jimmy

XXXX April

April on Canvas

LOL LOL

Hair

My hair
about a
year ago

I'm getting my hair done tomorrow and i'm sooo excited.

Really I am. It's been two years since I last cut it and it's just half way down my back. It was very short before. So I have decided it needs tidying up. So I also decided to veer away from my usual natural blonde and go for some low lights. Add a little autumnal interest to my lank hair. I'm also going to have the layers cut back in cause I like my hair Beeg

What? A month? You've got to be kiddin me!

yup it's been over a month since i last posted.(Did anyone miss me, or even notice i was gone? LOL) There is a reason for this... I have discovered myspace.com.

I have registered as an artist and uploaded some tracks
http://myspace.com/apriljwalker

It's cool but the blogs on there aren't a patch on blogger.

I have an interview the other day. Didn't get it. I'm not really as dissapointed as i thought i would be but still it would have been good.

It's almost the weekend so thats good.

My kid brother started university a couple of weeks ago and has won the prize for German at his highschool.

Jimmy is still the most amazing person on the planet.

My I Pod Mini Pink stopped working the otherday ( I was lost for two days without it) But Jimmy fixed it for me. - Told you he's amazing!!!! :)

And the city view from my balcony is a glorious in October as it was in August

Peace and lurve

Nah, didn't win.

But lets face it people, i wasn't suprised, were you? No didn't think so.


Lost in administration hell i clamber for the edge, but alas there is no end to this infinite pool of speadsheets. Bollocks.

So today was dodgy. For no reason really, i just didn't enjoy it. I had my boss telling me that a university education means nothing (it wasn't directed at me specifically... but at every graduate on the planet.) Me thinks it was a touch of "i have a degree from the university of life" qualification envy. Which lets face it considering she is my boss, drives a merc and has a house with 5 bathrooms and i am a lowly administrator it is a little rediculous. Ok yes so one day i will be the number one selling female artist in the world but she doesn't know that does she?!

I digress, Life for me right now is adiquate. It's good but there is something missing. Music.

Gotta love the music

Aww jeez

If there ever was a point where i needed to crack and say shove your job where it hurts i've won the lottery and i'm going to start my own recording company and be the best selling female artist of 2006 it would be now. Tomorrow is Saturday(thank god) and saturday is lottery day. PLEASE lemme win.

Eugene to win.

I have criticised, ridiculed and laughed at those who have in the past expressed their appreciation for reality TV. I have wondered about the mental state of people who have found such programs amusing or entertaining. But it seems my criticism was unfounded and unfair. I still believe that such programs as "I used to be a celebrity can I have what little fame I once had back in exchange for any shred of dignity or credibility I may have a feeble hold of" are complete and utter crap.

Over the last 10 or so weeks however I have sworn, shouted and almost screamed at the television as I have watched big brother 6.

Big Brother is the most fascinating frustrating showcase of characters you sincerelyly hope are not real. Between them they must have every psychological disorder ever mentioned in every psychiatric journal ever published.

Still left in the house are

Anthony
A rather normal yet dull "pretty" boy from Newcastle who spends most of his time asking Craig to stop talking about anal sex.

Makosi
Who is self obsessed, deceitful, pathetic, incompetent, temperamentinsincereeire and severely lacking in self respect and dignity. (a trait not uncommon in the house) Never trust anyone who constantly refers to themselves in the third person.

Kinga.
Poor poor girl. I believe she really does not like her self. She is a pretty girl who occasionally shows signs of intelligent life. She needs to get out of the house and watch herself on TV and see what we have all seen. Personally I don't believe that masturbating on national television with a red wine bottle is the sign of a confident person.

Derek
Oh Derek you have been my voice in the house on many occasions and many times I criticismscised you too. Derek is an intelligent man who is clearly frustrated with the house being that the cumulative intelligence quotient in the house in week one was (Derek excluded) 32. A little pompous and supercilious at times however a joy to watch.

Eugene
Generally considered to be socially inept, is adorable. He is a nice guy, a dying breed. The housemates have turned against him, fearing what they cannot label. So he does not communicate in the "acceptable" way, people please! Mankind has learnt so much in the last hundred years yet we can still not look beyond the surface. It is clear to me that in a house filled with people who claim to be different, individual and special true individuality is rejected, cast aside and criticised. The poor infantile societal barrel scrapings will probably never understand.

Craig
I have saved this boy to the end for a reason. Craig is a person I, and I do not use this word lightly, hate.

By his own admission, albeit followed by multiple subsequent denials, Craig is in love with best friend Anthony. He constantly tries to talk about sex and all things related to Anthony, who unsurprisingly does not want to hear it. His constant bistirringstiring whining crying and longing is driving me mad. I hobelief belive if I didn't want to see him lose so badly my hate would prevent me from watching the show.

Quote of the decade.

"I must be pregnant, he made me come"

Shimmer

The sky looks like silver tonight. A billion cleverly placed shades of grey, together create a shimmery peaceful early evening sky. Sporadic flecks of gold remind me of the days earlier sun
X April

Me

Way back when

This was taken last October at my halloween party. I messed around with it and loved this effect

More of me

I have the internet at home finally after a seven week absense.

It has been an rollercoaster few weeks. Emotions high and low. Confusion stress joy elation and frustration.

We have moved house, which in it's self is incredibly stress full and i have changed jobs. I jumped into a job i knew nothing about. Kitchen and bedrooms, I have one or two of each but i knew nothing about their components of how to fit them. I cant tell you how good i feel to not have an excell spreadsheet open on my screen!

So as far as i am concerned this job is temporary, something that is helping us to get a decent financial grounding. It is hard to go from a low paid yet emotionally rewarding job to one where you insert data in a column. Ok so the job is more varied than that and very complicated when you condsider what the Single out come of our work is. Like the furniture we fit, the job is the sum of many components, albeit boring ones!

Still we are here and settled in our new home, i am more confident at work and it is saturday morning so hey! how good is that?

Love April

Let us not forget

Just a note to say that this blog is not forgotten. I am in the third week of my new job now and i am moving to a beautiful brand new high up city centre apartment on friday. I am currently without internet access at home but i shall be back soon, like it or not.

Life is beautiful

Love to all my readers

April

T'was not to be

Well i did a great interview, scored full marks on all the tests but i just didn't have the right experience. Too bad. Anyhoo i still got the other job.

I should also mention...

.............................that i had a job interview last Wednesday and they offered me a job on the thursday. I have untill tomorrow to accept. So hopefully i'll get this job today and i wont have to accept. This job is higher paid than my current job but todays, the one i want, is higher still. It's all about the money.................

Three hours to go

I am nervous. Nervous for me anyway. I don't really feel work stress or nerves usually and if i do it is nothing compared to how others feel it. In exactly three hours i will be going into a job interview. a really important job interview. One for a well paid job with excellent career prospects. If i get this job my life will get better quickly, not that it isn't good, it's great but our finances are all over the place. All i want for the moment is normality. A house i own, a steady job, a couple of kittens and James. Well i have james and he is the single most important aspect of my life. Today i have the opportunity to make our life together that much better. The job is easy, basic admin. I just have to beat the other people and i sure hope i do.

Wish me luck

XXX

Fiday 22nd April 2005

I think i will remember that day for a very long time. It was the last day i worked with my kids.

For the last year i have worked with a group of young people on a local history project. The kids came to sessions twice a week for 11 months. They are great kids, from a variety of backgrounds. We had a party, i made a cake and some buns, bought some crisps (chips) and we had a great time. The kids had been whispering to each other and were making me suspicious. Then they all went in to the toilet (a disabled loo, very big) and brought me out a bunch of pink flowers, a pink pot plant and a silver necklace with pink gem stones. (they know me well,LOL)

It was so sweet, it took all my energy not to cry. Bless them. So when i am through typing this i am going to send their parents glowing reports, thanking them for their childrens paricipation and hard work

Cleaning fever.

I have no idea what is up with me right now. Friday night I was dreading the thought of all the cleaning I would have to do for the party. Saturday went and we tidied. Sadly a lot of the crap we tidied got dumped in our bedroom. Sunday was odd, I had the cleaning bug! I hate cleaning! I tidied up the party junk (I always use disposable cutlery and glasses etc) and I caught the fever, the cleaning fever, my party fever had morphed into a weird and wonderful cleaning fever. The symptoms were many, vacuuming , dusting, washing dishes, laundry, washing windows, sorting old junk that we keep for no reason. It was bizarre and now as I sit here at work and type, all I want to do is go hope and do more laundry. The fever is lasting and I would like to make the most of it.

Party fever

I mentioned to James the other day that i would like to have a party when i find a new job, basically it's just an excuse to have our buddies around. Well on Friday he leaves me a private message on my site asking me if we can have a party tommorow (saturday) Well i say yes but dread the thought of all the cooking and cleaning i will have to do. So saturday from 11am until 7.45 when the firsts guests arrived eas spent cleaning and cooking. As usual i made way too much food, there was potato salad, pasta salad, salad, fruit salad (theres a theme emerging) rice and sweetcorn and burgers(hand made i might add) and sausages. Everyone ate plenty but i made buckets of the stuff. The fruit salad was wasted as two of the guys were eating out of the bowl rather than serving themselves some up. That totally stopped me from wanting any (and fruit salads cost a fortune!!!)cause i'm really funny about stuff like that. Still i had a great time, saw an old friend i haven't seen in over a year.

A good time was had by all, i hope.

Jobs jobs jobs

Well two of my recruitment agents have found me three jobs between them. They are much better paid that my current one but they are much less rewarding and less of a challenge. Right now my finances have to be my priority, like it or not. I just hope i get at least one of the jobs they are sending me for

Job hunting is driving me nuts!! Only 5 weeks to find a new one and i am paniking now. I need more money job stability and an idea of what kind of career (other than music) i want.

GGGrrrrrrrr why is it so difficult, i am intelligent, well educated and oh so friendly and level headded. Well at least they all think i am

Random and unscripted

As i begin to type this i have no idea what it is about. I am making it up as i go along. But what is wrong with that. It strikes me that this is the very essence of life. They say that life is not a rehearsal, they are right, it is an improvistaion. Life is random, diverse and unscripted. This is what makes it so much fun, and often so frightening.

Pink Lace

While randomly searching the internet for pretty images i found this. I typed in lace, i also found many other more "bizarre" pictures

On The Radio

Yes that's me. This morning at 8.45 I got a call from a very excited friend telling me she had just heard my track on the radio. They played Goodbye to love. I am rather happy I must say. Cant bring me down today.

Anger and exhilaration

I have been feeling a lot of this lately, I admit I have felt a lot of joy and love also but it seems it is the negative emotions that stick in our minds.

Things in my work life are crazy, chaotic, and immensely frustrating. I have grown weary of the struggle, but, thankfully it is almost at an end. What lies beyond is scary yet exhilarating

Excitement

In a few days i will be posting my CD out to those who have ordered it. I am lucky to have made such great friends online, especially i was so initially sceptical about getting to know people online.

My CD Cover

Dreams Versus Reality

When I dream, this is not the life I lead, I do not sit behind a desk, I stand behind a microphone, in front of an audience or beside a piano. My house is not rented it is owned by me. My life is totally different, except he is still here with me. I never thought this would happen to me. That so young I would find my one. I would have expected to fear the loss of my independence and freedom, yet here I am, loving him so completely and retaining my sense of self. I can go where I like do what I want without him, I just don't choose to.

In reality I do not hate my life, far from it. My job, albeit underpaid and over in 6 weeks, is emotionally rewarding and interesting. My life is normal. I rent my home because house prices are so high, it is a lovely apartment and I have enjoyed living there. I will always think of it fondly as our first home together. So all in all, I am your average Josephine. The thing is this is not the life I choose. There is nothing wrong with my reality yet there is something not right. There is no absence of song, music is with me always, be it a tune I hum sat here typing at the key board or a string of glorious melodies drifting from my I Pod.

One day I believe I will be free of financial restraints and my voice will rise above the clouds and resonate through the skies. I do not ask for fame and fortune, just song.

When all else fails

The facts are simple, I have to have a full time reasonably paid job. Unless Sony discovers and signs me today I need a job to pay the bills. I have found one which shows promise. A trainee social worker, they pay you £15K a year to do a degree, sounds good to me!! You have to prove that you have the ability to undertake higher education, well I already have a degree so that would prove that. It would be a five year commitment, 3 years training and then 2 years working for them after (or you have to pay the university fees back) I figure social work interests me, and such a specific degree would help to ensure I remain gainfully employed throughout my life if music were to prove fruitless.

Glorious Sunday

Was I nervous? I was petrified, my legs were weak and my voice was shaking. The threat of public humiliation was imminent, now was the time to pull myself together and show the audience what I was made of.

The lights were on me, many pairs of eyes glaring at me, expectations varied. Through the next two hours I realised that the doubts I had were unfounded, that my wavering confidence in my abilities should be replaced by a solid belief that this is my world and there is no self delusion, I am capable, more than capable, talented. It is from that moment I decided not to fear the assignment of a name, ego. I realised that if I were a doctor I would say I am a good doctor and People would smile, yet I say "I am a good singer" they sigh with the same eye rolling expression.

So here is my confession, I am good, better than good and one day, I will be heard.

The loved lyricist

This morning i awoke to the sound of my heart singing, it had forgotten it's recent woes and once again was weaving melodies across my tired body.

Sunday opened my eyes, my abilities so well recieved. I am a lucky girl. The two loves of my life are here, with me.